Funny Stories

When I was 10, I went camping with my class for about 3 days. One day we had breakfast on a really long table. I was sitting with my friends at the end. I was having milk or something. Well, everyone was sat down eating and one of my friends called me a funny name, which no one had ever said before. It was the name of a little bald baby in a cartoon (not that I was bald or anything). Anyway, everyone looked when he called out the name, I laughed at what he said and a long line of snot came out of my nose!, everyone saw it! ..all the girls! haha I wiped it off quickly, everyone thought it went in my milk though hahaha oh well.

I used to like this guy in my school so much, one day I saw him walking behind me, so of course like a stupid girl, I decided to... um.. strut. I started walking up the stairs to the floor my class was on, I quickly peeked behind me (to see if he was still behind me) and I ended up falling flat on my face! And yes, he was still behind me, I could hear him laughing, all the way to my class =)

When I was in the 6th grade at school, I had a teacher called Mr. Vert. He liked to teach us all kinds of things. He taught us to sing in French and English. I have always had a very loud singing voice so he asked me to accompany him in a song called Whistle, Mary Whistle. Well, the song was going along very well and everyone seemed to be enjoying it until we got to the part where I was supposed to whistle. I puckered up and tried so hard and all eyes were on me. I grew up in the country so everyone thought I could do it but I just couldn't whistle. I looked up at Mr. Vert and said, but Mr. Vert, I can't whistle. I was the laughing stock of all of my peers for a very long time after that and you had better believe when I went home that day I had my daddy teach me how to whistle.

I was mama to 24 little boys at a Orphanage. They were cute fellows so a Masonic Lodge decided to sponsor us on a trip to the mountains. I drove the bus there and then all the boys were divided up between families who had lots of events planned for them. The family that took my husband and I decided to take us to look at the caves at the top of the mountain. Several of the other families with the boys accompanied us and we started our climb. I thought that it was very steep as I had to hold onto trees going up to keep from falling. It was quite a steep climb and we finally reached our destination at the top where the caves were located. It was such beautiful scenery that I didn't have time to think about how we were going to get down the steep incline that we had climbed up. We visited all of them and saw some miraculous sights. But then came the time for us to descend to the bottom. All of us were almost running down the hill from tree to tree to keep from falling down the side of the mountain. I looked to the side and saw a leaf filled drain where the rain had washed down the mountain. It looked soft so I asked our guide how it would be if I sat down and slid down it. He laughed and said he had never tried it. So I sat down and proceeded to slide down the side of the mountain on my backside. There were enough ledges to keep from traveling too fast and it was a fun way to go down the side of the mountain. The next morning the preacher of the church that we were visiting got up in the pulpit and told the whole congregation that I had slid down the mountain on my backside. I was the laughing stock of the church. I guess it's a good thing that we were just visiting or I would probably never have lived it down.

It was back in the days of school. Me & my friends decided to go to holland with the school, it was a biking holiday, but little did we no that you had to pedal backwards to brake (as some people my know from visiting holland) Everyone sort of got used to pedaling backwards after the first few days, however me & one of my friends were biking with the group but had been left behind. We then thought we should catch up with them and began to gain some serious speed passing many in the group with just 4 or 5 to get. We then came across two TONKA corners & reached for the brakes on the handle bars, no good we then found ourselfs heading for a BIG grass bank (vertical) with nothing we could do we both ended up driving up the bank & jumping a small wall of someones garden before smashing into his green house HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

When I was about 13 or 14, I came down with a particularly nasty bout of flu, which did all sorts of nasty things to my stomach. During the time I was ill, one day I sat on the sofa in the living room watching TV all day. At that time, I was feeling slightly sick, but not enough to make me wanna puke. Still, my mum came into the room and asked how I was. I said I wasn't too bad. She then asked, "You don't feel sick, do you?" and I said, "Not really..." And that's when it happened. Totally unexpectedly, I got an awful feeling in my stomach, and before I could do anything to resist the rising mess of chunks in my stomach, I projectile vomited five or six metres across the room, narrowly missing my mother. Of course, I've been sick many times before, but never had it been so violent...anyhow, I proceeded to leg it up the stairs, sending a trail of orange puddles as I went (seeing as all I had consumed was Lucozade that day). It was not nice for me at the time, but looking back on it now I could say it was pretty funny...

We had a fire drill at school one day, and my friend and I got separated from the rest of the form. When we got down to the field, out teacher started yelling at us for being late and everyone was looking at us. Unfortunately, the slope down to the field was wet and we were having to hurry. Suddenly my friend slipped up and sat down like a baby on the soaking wet grass, and even worse, she pulled me down on top of her. We ended up rolling down the slope in a very undignified manner, with out skirts embarrassingly wet!

One time when I was three or four, the weirdest thing happened to my mum. This is what it was. At that time I lived in Massachussetts. I hate it there. Well, when my cousin's parents left my mum was watching two little girls. One was three or four, that was me. Alima Tekeeva. And also my cousin who was one or two years old. So let's go on with our story. my mum was looking in the mirror and I was watching TV. My cousin's teeth were just coming out. She came by to my mum and she bit her butt. At that time my mum was pretty fat and my cousin bit the tip of it. I heard a scream. I ran down to my mum and she told me the story.

I was coming from a dance and I had drank a lot of soda. While me, my friend Brandy, and my brother Jarel were walking, I said I had to pee. So I ran all the way to the Community Centre. When I got to the basketball courts, I couldn't hold it anymore, so I dropped and peed on myself. Not only did I wet myself in public but also in front of a whole bunch of cute guys playing basketball.

Well I had a mate staying over the night and we were sleeping in the living room, and Freddie woke me up at around five in the morning to tell me ..... that he had urinated on my couch, of course I was shocked but I was quick thinking and used most of our houses bog roll supply and deodorant, but then after we done our work on it he slept on it afterwards

A few months ago I got a letter from my ex-girlfriend, telling me that she was pregnant, and that I was the father! I freaked out!!!

I was scared to death! I didn't know what to do, and finally decided to tell my parents. I didn't know how to tell them, I was just so ashamed. I ended up just giving them the letter with tears in my eyes. They didn't take it well.

To make things worse, they took me to my grandparents' house, where they all had a long talk about my situation. It was hell! My grandparents are very old-fashioned and, as you can imagine, they didn't take it well either. I needed to get out of that house and get some fresh air!

I ran to my best friend's house and told him about the letter. My friend has a pretty sick sense of humor and he seemed to think it was pretty funny to see me squirm like this. The more upset I got at him for lauging at my problems, the more he laughed.

Finally it dawned on me! HE had written that letter, not my ex-girlfriend! It was his idea of a funny prank! I was so pissed at him, I could have killed him! Literally!

I ran back home and told my parents that the letter wasn't real and it had just my friend's idea of a joke. I don't know which talk was worse. Telling them I was the father of a my ex-girlfriend's baby, or telling them that it was all a mistake. Now my parents knew I was sexually active. That's something I would have rather kept to myself!!!

To top it all off, my parents had that "safe sex" talk with me, telling me about condoms and all that other stuff. I was embarrassed as hell!

There were these girls that would always come into the bathroom and put on lipstick and kiss the mirror. The janitor came to the principle and said everyday I have to clean off all these lipstick marks and I'm sick of it. So the principle called the janitor and all the girls into the bathroom. One girl said, show us how hard it is to clean the mirror. So the janitor dipped a squigy into the toilet and cleaned the mirror. The janitor never saw lip marks again.